Tag: AcademicBurnout

#AcademicBurnout

KaleidoQuest

I Made Every Pro/Con List. Still Lost.

Senior year, I had two amazing internship offers. Everyone said I was lucky. I wasn't lucky—I was paralyzed. I meditated. Made spreadsheets. Weighted every pro and con like my life depended on it. Asked professors, friends, even my therapist which choice would make me happy. The thing is, I'd been optimizing my decisions for so long that I'd forgotten what wanting something actually felt like. I could tell you the salary difference, the career trajectory, the networking opportunities. But when people asked which one excited me more, I just stared. I picked the one that looked better on paper. Got the congratulations, the LinkedIn likes, the validation. But walking into that office on day one, I realized I'd spent four years becoming really good at making choices that made everyone else proud. I just had no idea who I was underneath all those perfect decisions. I'm still figuring that out. #Education #AcademicBurnout #DecisionFatigue

PrismPulse

I Tried to Fix Myself With Motivation

I used to think I could hack my way out of feeling empty. Like if I just found the right podcast, the right morning routine, the right list of goals, I’d wake up one day and actually want to be here. I read all the advice—be yourself, think positive, act enthusiastic. I even tried the gratitude lists, the fake-it-til-you-make-it smiles. But every time I forced myself to be “inspired,” it felt like I was just putting on another mask. No one tells you how much energy it takes to pretend you’re excited about your own life. Or how lonely it feels when you realize you don’t even know what you’re faking it for anymore. I kept chasing that spark everyone talks about, but all I found was exhaustion. The more I tried to fix myself, the more I felt like something was broken. Maybe I’m not missing motivation. Maybe I’m just tired of performing for a world that only claps when you look happy. #AcademicBurnout #CollegeReality #MentalHealthMatters #Education

JazzyJellyfish

I Wasn't Lazy—I Was Drowning

Everyone kept telling me I was just lazy. Get organized. Practice positive self-talk. Make a vision board. Set achievable goals. So I did. Color-coded planners. Daily affirmations in the mirror. Motivational quotes on my laptop. I turned my dorm into a productivity shrine. But at 3 AM, staring at another blank page, I finally got it. I wasn't lazy. I was drowning. The real issue wasn't time management—it was the crushing weight of expectations. Every assignment felt like proof I didn't belong. Every grade was a verdict on my worth. All those productivity hacks? They just gave me more ways to feel like I was failing. More lists to not complete. More goals to fall short of. I spent so much energy trying to fix my 'laziness' that I never asked why I was so afraid to start in the first place. Turns out, sometimes 'unmotivated' is just your brain protecting you from another round of never being enough. #Education #AcademicBurnout #ProductivityToxicity

EmeraldEclipse

I Read 100 Books—and Still Felt Empty

I thought reading 100 books in a year would make me feel accomplished. I made spreadsheets, tracked every title, and filled my days with audiobooks and e-readers, squeezing pages into every crack of my schedule. Two books a week, every week. I stopped watching TV, stopped going out. I started reading at stoplights, in line at the grocery store, during meals. People called it impressive. I posted the list online and got likes, but it felt hollow. Most days, I didn’t even remember what I’d read. I was always behind, always anxious, always calculating how many pages I needed to finish before bed. I told myself I loved reading, but it became another metric, another thing to optimize. I don’t know what I was chasing. Validation? Escape? The hope that if I just read enough, I’d finally feel like I mattered. But when I hit 100, I just felt tired. I still do. #AcademicBurnout #OverachieverProblems #BookwormFatigue #Education

GlisteningGrove

I Got the Job, But Lost Myself

I used to think becoming a software engineer would fix everything. I did the degree, learned the languages, built the portfolio. I even did the open source thing—pushed code at 2AM, hoping someone would notice. But nobody tells you how much of yourself you have to give up. The nights I stared at a blank IDE, hands shaking because I couldn't remember the difference between a hash table and a linked list. The group projects where I did all the work because I was terrified of being the weak link. The internships that felt like auditions for a life I wasn't sure I wanted. I got the job. The one everyone said would make it worth it. But now, every morning, I wake up and wonder if I’m just a collection of skills someone else needed. I can solve problems, but I can’t remember the last time I solved one for myself. Sometimes I scroll through my old code on GitHub and try to find the person who wrote it. I can’t. I don’t know who I am outside of this. #AcademicBurnout #ImposterSyndrome #CareerConfessions #Education

AuroraAltitude

I Passed the Test, But Lost Myself

I still remember the smell of Expo markers—how it clung to my hands after hours of cramming formulas on whiteboards. I thought if I just worked harder, stayed later, pushed through the exhaustion, I’d finally feel like I belonged here. But every grade felt like a verdict. Every missed point was proof I wasn’t enough. I started measuring my worth in red pen marks and late-night panic attacks. No one tells you how lonely it gets when you’re always competing, even with yourself. I got the grades. I got the praise. But somewhere along the way, I stopped recognizing the person staring back at me in the library window at 2AM. #AcademicBurnout #GPAAnxiety #CollegeReality #Education

tempestWisp

I Grade Their Work, But I’m Failing Myself

Sometimes I stare at the assignments my students turn in and wonder if they know how much I envy their certainty. They write with conviction—about themes, about purpose—like the world will reward them for it. I read their words and remember the nights I spent hunched over my own papers, convinced that if I just did everything right, I’d finally feel like I belonged here. But I never did. Not after the degree, not after the job. I hand back their essays with careful notes, pretending I’m the authority, but most days I feel like I’m still waiting for someone to grade me, to tell me I did enough. I wish I could tell them that sometimes the real assignment is surviving the silence after the grades are posted. #Education #TeacherCareers #AcademicBurnout

ChasingNebula

I Wrote the Perfect Position Paper. It Broke Me.

I used to think Model UN was just about debate—arguing, winning, making your country look good. But nobody tells you how much it eats at you before you even step into the room. The position paper is supposed to be your foundation, your chance to prove you belong. So I spent nights hunched over my laptop, researching countries I’d never visit, issues I’d never solve, pretending I was an expert when I barely felt like a person. I followed every rule: stick to the agenda, cite your sources, sound like you care. I wrote about poverty and climate change like I had answers, but all I really had was exhaustion. My hands shook when I typed my name at the top—like maybe if I got this right, I’d finally feel like I deserved to be here. I tried to make my country sound strong, tried to make myself sound smart. I kept telling myself that if I could just write the perfect paper, maybe I’d stop feeling like a fraud. But after I hit submit, all I felt was empty. Nobody tells you that the real test isn’t the debate—it’s whether you can keep pretending you’re fine when every part of you is tired. I got compliments on my paper. I didn’t feel proud. I just felt numb. And when the conference ended, I realized I’d spent so much time trying to sound like someone else, I forgot what my own voice sounded like. #Education #AcademicBurnout #ModelUNStruggles

BlazingPhoenix

My Study Timetable Was a Trap I Built Myself

I used to think making a study timetable would save me. I bought highlighters, drew neat grids, color-coded every class. It felt like control—like if I just planned hard enough, I could outrun the panic. But the truth is, the timetable became another thing to fail at. Every time I missed a block, every time I started late or skipped a task, it felt like proof I wasn’t cut out for this. I’d stare at the empty squares and wonder how other people made it look so easy. I’d tell myself, just get through this week, this exam, this semester. Then I’d be okay. But the weeks stacked up. The breaks I scheduled turned into guilt. The more I tried to optimize, the more I felt like I was falling behind. I started to hate the sight of my own handwriting. I stopped calling my friends back. I stopped sleeping. No one tells you that organizing your time doesn’t fix the fear. It just gives it a new shape. I don’t know if I ever unlocked my potential. Mostly, I just learned how to hide how tired I was. #Education #AcademicBurnout #CollegeReality

LunarEclipse

I Failed the Vertical Line Test (and Myself)

I used to think school was about finding the right answer. Memorize the rules, fill in the blanks, check the boxes. Like, if you can tell which relation is a function, you’re doing it right. But somewhere between the tables and the graphs, I started seeing myself in the questions. Inputs and outputs. If you give the right input, you get the right output. If you don’t, you’re wrong. Simple. Except it never felt simple. I’d stare at the ordered pairs, terrified of missing something obvious. One input, two outputs? Not a function. One mistake, two consequences: the grade and the way I’d beat myself up for days. I remember failing a quiz on this. My hand shook so hard I could barely draw the vertical line. The teacher said, “It’s easy. Just check if the line hits two points.” But I couldn’t see past the panic. All I saw was proof that I didn’t belong here, that I was the wrong answer. I still flinch when I hear the word “function.” Like I’m supposed to be one, too. Like I’m only allowed one output, and it better be perfect. #Education #AcademicBurnout #GPAAnxiety

Tag Page AcademicBurnout