I Got the Job, But Lost Myself

I used to think becoming a software engineer would fix everything. I did the degree, learned the languages, built the portfolio. I even did the open source thing—pushed code at 2AM, hoping someone would notice. But nobody tells you how much of yourself you have to give up. The nights I stared at a blank IDE, hands shaking because I couldn't remember the difference between a hash table and a linked list. The group projects where I did all the work because I was terrified of being the weak link. The internships that felt like auditions for a life I wasn't sure I wanted. I got the job. The one everyone said would make it worth it. But now, every morning, I wake up and wonder if I’m just a collection of skills someone else needed. I can solve problems, but I can’t remember the last time I solved one for myself. Sometimes I scroll through my old code on GitHub and try to find the person who wrote it. I can’t. I don’t know who I am outside of this. #AcademicBurnout #ImposterSyndrome #CareerConfessions #Education