Maybe I Saw Something. Maybe I Didn't

I caught a flash on Saturn last Saturday. Bright, brief, gone. The kind of thing that happens once every 3,125 years, supposedly. But here's what they don't tell you in the papers: I've been staring at data for so long, I don't trust my own eyes anymore. The image is sitting in my folder. A potential first-ever impact observation. Career-defining, maybe. But instead of celebration, I'm sending emails asking strangers to confirm what I saw. Because what if it's just noise? What if I'm that astronomer who thought they discovered something groundbreaking but was wrong? I used to believe my training mattered. That my PhD meant something. Now I'm reduced to hoping someone else recorded the same moment, because I've learned to doubt everything I observe. Even history-making flashes feel like they need committee approval. That's what years of rejection emails do. They teach you to question even the extraordinary. #Science #ImposterInTheRoom #LabBurnout