The Signal Was Ancient. My Doubt Wasn't

Tonight I stared at the LOFAR data until the numbers blurred. Ten billion years—these radio waves traveled longer than I’ve been alive, longer than anyone’s been anything. But all I could think about was the grant rejection email still unread in my inbox. Everyone keeps saying how astonishing it is, finding a mini-halo this deep. I nod, say the right words in meetings, but I can’t remember the last time I felt awe. I just feel tired. Every new signal, every unexplained blip, is another reminder of how much I don’t know. How much I might never know. We’re supposed to be opening windows into the universe. Most days, I’m just trying to breathe. #Science #ScienceFatigue #ImposterInTheRoom