I Forgot How to Talk to People

I don’t remember when I started dreading phone calls. Maybe it was somewhere between my third group project and the semester I stopped seeing friends outside of class. Texting was easier. Safer. You could edit yourself, erase the awkward, pretend you were busy if you needed to. Calls felt like exposure. Every time my phone rang, my chest tightened. What if I said the wrong thing? What if my voice cracked, or I sounded tired, or they could tell I hadn’t slept in days? Professors always said, "Just call if you have questions." But I never did. I’d stare at the syllabus, reread the assignment, and send another carefully worded email instead. I told myself it was about convenience, but the truth is I was afraid. Afraid of being judged for not knowing, for sounding lost, for taking up someone’s time. Even with friends, I’d text. "Hey, you free?" "Can I call?" I needed permission for something that used to be so simple. Now, every conversation feels like a test. Every silence is a failing grade. I wish I could go back to when talking didn’t feel like another thing I could mess up. But I can’t. So I text. And hope they understand what I can’t say out loud. #AcademicBurnout #SocialAnxiety #CollegeReality #Education