I Tried to Be Less Annoying—Now I’m Just Tired
It’s embarrassing how much of my life has been spent replaying conversations in my head, wondering if I came off as too much. I know I talk too loud, interrupt, try to fix things that aren’t mine to fix. I know because people have told me—sometimes with a laugh, sometimes with that look that makes you want to shrink into your own skin.
So I started keeping a list. Every time someone flinched, every time I saw eyes dart away or a friend stopped texting back, I wrote it down. It was supposed to help. Instead, it just made me more aware of every word I said, every gesture, every time I took up too much space in a room that already felt too small for me.
I tried apologizing. I tried smiling more, talking less, folding myself up so I wouldn’t spill over into someone else’s comfort. But all it did was make me quieter, lonelier, and more exhausted. I thought if I could just fix myself, people would stop pulling away. But now I’m not sure who I’m supposed to be—just that whoever I am, it’s still not enough.
#SocialAnxiety #PeoplePleasing #SelfDoubt #Education
