I Never Learned to Stay Quiet
I used to get in trouble for talking in class. Not because I wanted to be disruptive, but because silence felt like suffocating. My mind would spark with something funny or weird or just desperate to be heard, and holding it in felt like holding my breath.
Teachers said, "Just sit at the front, take notes, be like the quiet kids." But no one tells you how loud your own thoughts get when you try to swallow them. I’d write jokes in the margins of my notebook, stare at the clock, promise myself I’d wait until lunch. Sometimes I’d make it. Sometimes I’d blurt something out and feel the heat of everyone’s eyes on me, like I’d failed at something basic.
I tried sticky notes, reward charts, even asked my friends to nudge me when I started to talk. But the truth is, I never learned how to be invisible. I learned how to feel guilty for being myself. And every time I walked out of class, I wondered if it was better to be quiet and lonely, or loud and wrong.
#SchoolStruggles #AnxiousStudent #ClassroomConfessions #Education
