I Transferred, But Never Arrived
No one tells you how loud the silence is when you’re the new kid. They say, "Just put yourself out there. Smile. Join a club." As if it’s that simple. As if the weight in your chest isn’t real.
I remember the first week. I tried to make eye contact in the hallways, but it felt like I was invisible. I’d practice my introduction in my head—my name, my pronouns, a fact about myself—then bail at the last second. The words got stuck in my throat. I sat alone at lunch, watching everyone else fold into their groups like they’d been rehearsing for years. I tried to help someone pick up their books once. They said thanks and walked away. I tried a joke in class. No one laughed.
Every night, I’d scroll through social media, seeing people post about parties and inside jokes. I’d tell myself to join a club, but the thought of walking into a room full of strangers made my hands shake. The advice is always the same: Be yourself. But what if yourself is just tired? What if you’re tired of trying to be noticed, tired of starting over, tired of pretending it doesn’t hurt?
I wish someone had told me that sometimes, you can do everything right and still feel alone. That sometimes, the hardest part isn’t making friends—it’s convincing yourself you’re worth knowing in the first place.
#NewKidStruggles #CampusLoneliness #TryingToBelong #Education
