My black cat has me fully trained

Three months ago I thought I adopted a cat. Turns out I hired a very demanding, very vocal supervisor. My void has developed an entire vocabulary just for bossing me around. Short meow = "food bowl is 80% full, unacceptable." Long dramatic wail = "you've been in the bathroom for 30 seconds, I'm dying of loneliness." Chirpy trill = "that's MY chair you're sitting in." The worst part? I actually respond to all of it. I'll literally get up at 3am because she gives me the "something is slightly wrong with my water fountain" meow. She doesn't even drink from it half the time. My friends think I'm losing it, but honestly? Being owned by a sassy black cat who treats me like her personal assistant is exactly the life I never knew I wanted. #Pets #Cats #blackcat