This void judges my life choices daily

Meet Ouija, my 8-pound life coach who happens to be a black cat. This little shadow follows me around the apartment like he's conducting a performance review of my existence. Eating cereal for dinner? Judgmental stare. Working from bed at 2 PM? Disappointed head tilt. Crying over a Netflix show? He literally sits on the remote. The best part? He's absolutely right about everything. When I brought home my questionable Tinder date last month, Ouija took one look and hissed. Date turned out to be a crypto bro who mansplained my own job to me. Ouija knew. Now I just consult him before major decisions. Should I buy those overpriced shoes? If he slow-blinks, it's a yes. If he walks away, I put my card back. This cat has better judgment than my entire friend group, and honestly, I'm not mad about it. #Pets #Cats #blackcat