My Cat Thinks He's a Spider (Send Help)

So my cat Oscar has apparently decided gravity is optional. This morning I found him hanging upside down from my curtain rod like some furry acrobat, just... chilling there. Yesterday it was the top of my bookshelf. Last week? Somehow wedged between my ceiling and a light fixture. I've accepted that normal cat behavior flew out the window the day I adopted him. He doesn't walk anywhere – he scales. My walls look like a climbing gym with strategic scratches marking his favorite routes. Guests think I'm running some kind of feline parkour training facility. The worst part? He stares at me from these impossible perches with this smug expression like 'Yeah Karen, I'm defying physics. Deal with it.' I've bought him seventeen different cat trees. He ignores them all and chooses the one spot that'll give me a heart attack. Anyone know if pet insurance covers anxiety therapy? Asking for a friend. #Pets #Cats #SpiderCat