A brutally honest guide to picking your NFL team

New to the NFL and don’t know who to root for? Forget choosing your local team. Let’s find a team that truly matches your personality. For the Masochist: The Minnesota Vikings Do you enjoy emotional rollercoasters that almost always end in heartbreak? Is hope your favorite form of poison? Welcome home. What you get: A history of being just good enough to make you believe, right before they snatch defeat from the jaws of victory in the most creative way possible. The Vibe: Constant hope, followed by spectacular pain. You’ll learn to love the suffering with a community that truly understands. Motto: “There’s always next year.” For the Style-Conscious: The Las Vegas Raiders Do you believe that looking cool is half the battle? Does your personal brand depend on a classic, rebellious aesthetic? Say no more. What you get: The most iconic and stylish jerseys in all of sports. The black and silver is timelessly cool. The Vibe: An “us-against-the-world” outlaw spirit. You’re not just a fan; you’re part of the “Raider Nation.” Motto: “Just Win, Baby.” For the Fanatic Who Wants a Family: The Philadelphia Eagles Is watching sports a full-contact emotional experience for you? Do you want to be part of a loud, passionate, and slightly insane tribe? Join the flock. What you get: The most intense and loyal fan base in the league. The stadium atmosphere is electric and intimidating. The Vibe: Football isn’t a game; it’s a religion. You’ll instantly have millions of loud “family members” who share your passion. Motto: “Fly, Eagles, Fly!” So, what’s your pick? Heartbreak, Style, or Chaos? Welcome to the NFL. #NFL